Teen Relationships Have Moved To A New Level With The Help Of Cell Phones
Posted: Monday, April 14, 2008
by Abigail Richards
Teenagers and their use of cell phones have been all over the news the last few months. Pictures and Videos have been leaked all over YouTube and schools everywhere of teenagers participating in some not so appropriate acts. As you all may recall, Vanessa Hudgins started if off last year by sending a nude pic of herself to co-star and then boyfriend Zac Efron . Since that time, teenagers have gained all kinds of media attention for doing the same.
"I've seen everything from your basic striptease to sexual acts being performed," Reynoldsburg police Detective Brian Marvin, a member of the FBI Cyber Crime Task Force of Central Ohio, told FoxNews. "You name it, they will do it at their home under this perceived anonymity."
The danger of this, of course, is that the pictures are in a medium that can be forwarded or uploaded to many others in a matter of seconds.
I remember what it was like to be a teenager. The overdone drama of falling in love, public breakups, breaking trusts, hurting one another was all typical of junior high and high school. I can't, however, imagine how much more damaging it is today to go through these stages. Can you imagine breaking up with a boy and then finding your body on the school's most popular website. Or even worse, it ending up there before you break up.
Teenage girls seem to be the most trusting believing that if they give up these pics or even sometimes, their own bodies, then somehow they will earn the love of these teenage boys.
Rob Bell puts it best in his book, Sex God. "Some women learn at an early age how to negotiate," he says. "They need to be loved, to be validated, to be worth something, and they discover that by giving a little of themselves to a boy, they get what they need in return. It's a cycle, a pattern that can stay with them their entire lives."
How scary is this? Teenagers don't realize that these misguided decisions they are making by what they consider simply passing on nude pics of themselves, can damage their entire lives. FoxNews goes on to report Jean Twenge, a psychology professor at San Diego State University who studies young people's trends, found that teens are more confident and assertive than ever before.
"Adolescents are not known for thinking things through - that's a generational constant," she said. "Now, with the technology that is out there, instead of taking a picture and passing it around the classroom, it's online, which is a whole different ball game. (Teens) don't see it that way."
So how do we as parents protect our teens from making these stupid mistakes. I would like to say there is a simple answer, but there isn't. The sad truth is this issue crosses all racial and economic classes. Christian and Jewish teens have even reported sending nude pics. However, we can take some steps to protect our teens to the best of our ability.
Talk To Your Teen
Sex is an uncomfortable discussion at any age, but I think the teenage years are the worst. No one wants to hear about sex from their parents especially at this age. But ignoring the issue sends the wrong message to your teen. If you don't talk to your teen, then society and our culture will. Do you want your teen learning about sex from what they see in our society. It is ok to teach your teen that their body and beauty are good things given from God. But you have to teach the teen how to embrace their beauty in a respectable way.
Limit Cell Phone Use
Don't buy the cell phone with all the features. Buy one that just allows your teen the abilities that they need at this age. My own cell phone doesn't have camera or video capabilities. Monitor their use. Also, monitor their myspace pages and computer use.
Know Their Friends
Get to know your teen. Yes, be that annoying parent. Get to know boyfriends and girlfriends. Teach them to look for character when choosing friends. Show them or model what character is. Don't be messed up in a sinful life if you don't want your teen to be as well. Visit their schools, be aware of who their teachers are and stay in constant contact with them.
Show Them The Outcome
So, this is the harsh one that has to be done in a delicate manner. Remember the episode of The Cosby Show where Theo is treated like a grown-up and asked to pay for his room, food, etc.? It is just a show, but it has so many real life applications. Let your teen see consequences for their actions such as lost of the cell phone or having to pay for it. Let them read the stories of the kids who have already been used. Let them feel or see the heartache of decisions not thought out. We tend to shield our kids from hurt when right now is the best time for them to feel it so that when they are on their own, they are prepared.
This is just some suggestions. The teenagers of today face way more pressures and mind-altering media then we ever did. It is ok to protect them. It is ok to know all about their lives. Learn how to get on their level and protect your child before their picture ends up online for every one in the world to see.
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)Talk to your teen about the future. Many don't realize that what they put on the internet IS NOT private and will stay in the Google "cache" for literally years even after they delete it. Future employers WILL be able to access pretty much ANYTHING they post now! I predict there will be an epidemic in the near future of students graduating from colleges with good education, good grades and all the right stuff but losing good jobs over indiscretions still out there in cyber space. Employers will not be impressed with naked or near naked videos, stupid pranks, bullying etc.
Great article, Abigail. When I gave my granddaughter a cell phone I did have the internet and text messaging locked thru my subscriber---so that eliminated that problem; however, she eventually lost her cell phone because she couldn't keep her grades up and abused her allotted number of minutes. Another problem is I'm still having to pay for a phone she can't use because my subscription is on a two-year contract--sometimes even adults have to learn the hard way! SEG
The main thing people should know about using the Internet is NEVER use your REAL name for any online actiivity of any description and THIS includes face book despite the fact you wnat people to find you! People will find you and as Jean says those people might be future employers, they could also be future husbands and wives. Seeing who your new love flirted with in the past and HOW isn't gonna help your relationship any. Great article.
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