Why You Should Not Be Getting Relationship Advice From Cosmo
Posted: Tuesday, July 28, 2009
by Abigail Richards
Cosmopolitan Magazine has been the go to magazine for many a girls over the years. It contains endless relationship advice from sexual techniques to finding out if that special someone is really in to you.
I, too, used to be one of those girls. I would do the quizzes, find out if he was hot about me, knew what was in style and out, but then something happened: I grew up.
This magazine is far from reality. The article, titled, Dating Tips: Four Relationship Principles You Should Break was absurd. The article claimed that four well known relationship mandates were false and should not be followed.
The first one the article tackled was the issue of checking out other people. The magazine encourages couples to look at attractive members of the opposite sex. The reason the writer gives for breaking the rule to not check out members of the opposite sex: "Why you should break it: You're in a relationship; you're not dead. So when you're walking down the street and spot a piece of eye candy, go ahead and give yourself permission to do a double take."
Mistakes happen and yes, it is natural to look sometimes. It isn't good for your relationship, however. One couple they interviewed says it helps them see what their significant other tastes are. Really? Why would it be healthy to your relationship to know that they find other features attractive? How does that make you healthy? Looking is also the first step in saying that it is ok to prey on others.
You want a relationship that is secure and trustworthy? Don't break this rule.
The second rule Cosmopolitan urges you to break is not as bad, but could have negative effect as well. It states that you should not give a "play by play" of your day. Here is the deal. If you and your significant other want to share your life, there is nothing wrong with doing that. If you feel that you are unable to share your day, maybe you are with the wrong person. If he doesn't want to hear about it, then maybe there are issues you are missing.
The third rule Cosmo urges you to break is that "you have to resolve every conflict." In fact, the writer states, "Why you should break it: Forget the old adage that you should never go to bed angry. Despite your feminine urge to fix a problem now, it often pays to sleep on it -- or drop the matter completely."
Ever gone to bed mad? I have one question, if you sleep, how do you wake up? My personal experience is that if it is not settled, it festers into something way worse by morning.
I am not saying you have to agree on everything, but ignoring the conflict is not healthy to a relationship ever. The magazine says that some things you will need to just let go. I agree with that statement, but the issues need to be addressed first until you feel like it is ok to just let go for the sake of resolving the problem.
Finally the last rule is probably the one I have the most trouble with. Cosmo says that you should not cut off relationships with your exes. Seriously? If it was healthy for you to be around your ex, you would still be with your ex. This only makes your now beau defensive and on guard. Why would you want to do that to someone you love?
I realize I may be a little out of touch since I have been married for over ten years. I just do not see pulling any of these rules benefiting my current marriage. Maybe, you have success with following these guidelines. If so, please leave a comment.
I just see Cosmopolitan as corrupting generations of females when it comes to love and relationships.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)You have a really good point, Abigail. Strong arguments-I like them!!!
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