How Young Is Too Young To Marry?
Posted: Friday, August 14, 2009
by Abigail Richards
There is a growing controversy in the Christian world about the age in which couples are marrying because of their vows to not have premarital sex.
According to the census bureau, the average median age in the US for women to marry is 26 and men is 28. However, evangelicals are marrying younger and younger in an effort to preserve their vows of abstinence.
Christianity Today magazine has tackled the issue with a cover article titled, "The Case For Young Marriage."
What is too young to marry? Personally, my parents waited until they were married. My mom also married at the age of 19 and my dad was 21.
According to FoxNews, "The article's author, University of Texas sociologist Mark Regnerus, argues that evangelicals have made much ado about sex' but are damaging the institution of marriage by discouraging and delaying it.
The FoxNews article goes on to say, "Regnerus is not saying that premarital sex is OK. But he does suggest that abstinence has its limits, and that intensifying the message won't work. When people wait until their mid- to late 20s to marry, he writes, it's unrealistic and battling our creator's reproductive designs' to expect them to wait that long for sex.
Lets get a little personal. My husband and I lost our virginity to one another, but it was outside of the marriage vows. We have felt bad about it and regretted it, but I think we were too young at the age of 19 to have sex and even more get married.
I don't think we would of even respected the institution of marriage. We were married at the young age of 22 and we still did not respect the institution. It took several years and a reality slap in the face from God before we respected the institution.
That being said, I am not sure there is a "magic" age where couples finally get the seriousness of sex and/or marriage.
I have a brother in law right now who did have sex before marriage and now is getting married and will be a father shortly after. Is he too young at 24? Is the girl too young at 20?
When I had my child at 24, I felt way in over my head. In fact, I yelled several times during labor that I thought I was too young. But I know other stronger Christians at that age that handle it just fine.
I am opening this up for discussion. What is too young to get married? Should sex wait until marriage or is that archaic? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Great article. Well done.I think we have it quite right in Scotland. We have set the age at 16.In my opinion if they are a loving couple and are mature enough I see no problem.
Love is not just a feeling--it is a committment. Full maturity simply does not/cannot come until your hormons settle down in your late teens early twenties.Sex is not an option outside marriage--particuarly for teens. It is not just physical but also a spiritual experience. When you have sex you give part of yourself away. After you experimented with a few people and found the 'perfect' one who is 'great in bed'--how much of yourself will you have left to give to your spouse when youve given so many pieces of yourself away?When you marry, marry your best friend, and only your best friend! (of course, of the opposite sex)Love and sex (not to be confused) are very precious--and they will not be played with. Sex will be the greatest blessing you ever recieve, or the greatest curse.
sex is a major part of our psyche- being and should NEVER be an intermediate goal in a relationship;thats just plain silly
First of all, let me congratulate you on you and your husband's ability to regroup in the marriage after a period of 'not respecting the institution.' I think that is a great and admirable feat. You learned and grew from it, which surely made your marriage stronger.As far as age in regard to marriage goes, I think it depends more on the individual than on the age. With that said, I do think it is important that a couple not rush into marriage, especially at a tender age. My philosophy is that when you intend to spend the rest of your lives together, then there really is no rush. If you are going to be together for the long-haul, then waiting a few years until you are more mature and more knowledgeable about life to get married should not be a cause for concern.
great article. i believe people should get married only when they feel is the right time since ever choice we make we will be held responsible for it.
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